wanderings within an esoteric mind

So, I figured I may as well do the first actual post for this page, rather than filler to mock Brandon That Guy with. This post is going to be filled with shite about Twilight, so if you like Twilight, STOP READING NOW unless you want to be insulted so hard you cry. Or something.

Now, onto the less mature part of this blog. Everyone who is reading this that I know, knows how I feel about the shit for brains story and it’s mentally handicapped author. I have major issues with this woman, because she is basically a self-insert author who is fantasizing over her own creations. Really, who does this shit out in public? Well, she does, and I almost feel bad for her; these are open cries for help in a way. Actually, maybe fucking not. I skimmed the first book myself and nearly wretched out my soul (if only I had any soul remaining, ja?) at the awful writing filled from cover to cover. Seriously, how does this kind of shit become so popular? All I get out of this series is that Stephenie is broadcasting how “important” it is to have a boyfriend and/or significant other. There’s nothing to it other than that. Edward is a stalking creeper and Bella is a shallow character with nothing “important” to do other than choose which guy she’d like to bang more.

There’s no depth or story to this series, and it kills me that something dull like that has become so insanely popular. My generation is going to be remembered by how we feel about shiny fucking vampires and werewolves than how intelligent we are. Oh, how I fear for the future of this world under the rule of today’s teeny boppers. That is a nightmare that I will never be able to get over and quietly makes me pray that the end of the world in 2012 actually comes to pass with the Earth exploding in a fireball because that means Twilight obsessed weirdos will not come into any form of power. OH WAIT.

There’s women that are 30+ who fan-girl hardcore over Twilight. The world is already fucking doomed. Talk about double standards. I remember one demotivational poster I saw ages ago that read something like: “If this were 40 year-old men screaming over teenage girls, the cops would be all over this shit.” How true that shit is. Why is it perfectly okay for women to do this, but not men? Men get automatically pointed at and accused of being pedophiles, but women are just like “well, whatever, they’re harmless.” Fuck that shit, it is SCARY. Actually, women in general are just scary, but that’s another story all together…

Really, though, who writes about things like this? Some lonely old lady is all it comes across to me as. Honestly, I feel bad for Robert Pattinson having to play Edward Cullen. Though, the kid really probably enjoys the hell out of the stardom he has acquired from being such a “cool” character. He was, however, in a Harry Potter movie first… and died. I’m not going to get into Harry Potter vs. Twilight in this post, except for one little statement; repeating what I said before about Twilight: Twilight is about how important it is to be with someone where Harry Potter is about courage in the face of an overwhelming force, the emotions you go through when you mature, friendship, the choices you make and the consequences of them.  See how much more depth there is in Harry Potter compared to Twilight? I miss the days when fiction books were actually entertaining and had character depth (a la Lord of the Rings and Wheel of Time), not when they were written to fulfill some twisted fantasy.

I will give Twilight movies one thing, though, they have Taylor Lautner as Jacob and if you cover his baby face, looking only at his body it really is NOT that bad. Also, if you ignore the fact that he was Sharkboy… I still would prefer to look at Vin Diesel, though, despite that fact he could crush me without thinking. Untz. (I’d like to thank my sister for giving me the Vin Diesel idea.)

Don’t get me wrong or anything, people can like whatever the hell they like, just… please don’t go insane over it. It really scares the rest of us and gives the other insane people bad names. I also don’t hate vampires. I think they’re pretty damn cool until they start puking glitter all over me.

The only man in my world allowed to sparkle and get away with it is Jareth, the Goblin King. So screw you guys!

Cheers.